Monday, September 14, 2009
I was recently on a stroke survivors group, where various members were sharing what they were doing right before they stroked. While reading each one, I wanted so badly to go back in time and change something!! Anything for a better outcome. There were actually signs a few days before my husband stroked that we didn't realize were signs. Boy, if only we could just have those days back again!!!
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Your husband redirect me to your website from stroke central. My husband had a stroke 4 months ago at 51 and I am relating to every single word, and sentiment you have posted. Apathy, fatigue, realizing, accepting, future, work, cognitive skills. I do anything to get those 3 months before the stroke. Yes, in our case there were signs. He was extremely irritated, must read the news on the web out loud to focus, tired, short term memory loss, and cannot find words or name. I will share more as time permits. for now I keep reminding myself that everything shall pass
ReplyDeleteHi Ann
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting. 4 months out, you're still in shock. My husband also had signs, but not that we realized. He had some blurry vision, and headaches, but we passed it off as him spending so much time in front of the computer and keeping late hours. When he ran a red light and said he didn't see the light, was a big clue. But again, I thought he just wasn't paying attention, as we had just moved to a new area and were driving and looking around. If he had just gone to the ER then, they would have at least caught it before the bleed started. Two years out and I still can't believe the change it's taken. Life literally changed in a second. Your husband will make improvements in the months to come, but it is slow. The biggest improvements come in the first year, and then it seems it's at a snails pace from then on. The encourging thing is that the brain is always healing. The roller coaster of emotions we go through on this end is unbelievable. Sometimes I ask myself, if my husband is returning to his "old" self or have I just gotten use to the "new" one. I really hate that my young kids won't know the "old" person he was.
Rlysa,
ReplyDeleteI am still in shock but quick to know that he'll likely never return to his old self a 100%. But you know what? don't we as human being adjust to changes all the time in every aspect of our lives every single day? we just don't realize of these adjustments and think tomorrow will always be as expected or planned. We adjust to be a parent, to the fluctuation of the economy, we adjust to aging, to pain of child birth, to job stress. This is no doubt a much harder adjustment with so much emotion involved and unknowns lying ahead. But Rlysa, I like to think, on my good day, that I can adjust to anything. Can we think that we now have 2 husbands while for some they have to go through a divorce before can get a new husband. For us, we instantly gain a new husband, a fresh start - get to know another man. I hope you don't take offense to this thought. However, it has been far and few in between when I can think like this, but i am hanging on to this when I am down. Thank you for reading & responding to my thoughts. We will hang in there together.
No offense taken at all. I too constantly am trying to keep things in perspective. We have to. In a lot of ways it is learning to love and appreciate them all over again. I think with each new gains they make, it is to be admired. For their courage and perserverance. It certainly takes a lot of that. And through it all, you will find out that you are stronger than you thought. People often ask me how I do it, I just keep saying that I just Keep moving. If I don't focus so much on the current state of affairs, I find it's easier. It's easier to look back on what i've done than to look ahead at the long road. It takes a lot of acceptance to think that our spouses will not be 100% his old self again, but we do adjust to a "new" normal. I find that the physical changes aren't so bothersome for me, more so for him, but the cognitive changes are harder to get use to. But the good things is, the brain is always healing!! So I take courage in that thought :)Do you have others that can help?
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